Successful Dating and Marriage (2)

"How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope? By looking carefully at the facts" -- DR. HOWARD HALPERN.......................................If you were asked to mention the qualities you want in a mate, no doubt you will list all the wonderful human qualities on earth. Perhaps you will not forget to mention that you will like your mate to be loving and caring. Well, that is good. But you start the wrong way. You should have started by asking yourself if you possess those "angelic" qualities in your master list. For example, ask yourself, Am I loving and caring? You see, everyone looks for different qualities in a mate. For instance, what appeals to me, may not appeal to you. No wonder it is said that what is one man's meat is another man's poison.This reminds me of one beautiful lady who loved Socrates the Greek philosopher for his intelligence, and asked for his hand in marriage. She reasoned that they would make excellent children. Because their children would combine her beauty with Socrates' intelligence.But the beautiful lady, a dullard who could not add one and one, forgot something which the ugly Socrates reminded her. "What if our children combine your empty brain with my ugly face?" he asked. And that ended it.So, it means that we should look for a rounded mate. One quality alone is not enough. And we too should posses qualities that our mate should look at and admire. But what questions should you first ask yourself? Am I willing to make a life long commitment to my partner? Matthew 19: 6You don't marry today with the view to divorcing tomorrow, if things don't go your way. Marriage is a life long commitment. God hates those who abandon their mates. -- Malachi 2: 13-16.Am I now physically mature to make sound judgment? -- 1 Corinthians 7: 36Picture teenage couples in a matrimonial wedlock. These ones are still going through changes in their life. Lack of any life experience, coupled with the strong sexual desires incidental to their age, will distort their thinking and judgment.Do I have traits that will help me to contribute to a successful marriage? -- Galatians 5: 22, 23.You should try to cultivate those qualities that you want of your marriage mate. Compatibility is the word. But know that even twins are not exactly identical. So don't even think of marrying a relative in order to make the best out of marriage. And don't think you can change anyone. That is wishful thinking. Try changing yourself first!Do I have the maturity to support a male in difficult times? -- Galatians 6: 2.It is not the time to play the blame game when problems arise. You will agree that we live in difficult times, and this calls for maturity in handling issues. That is why you are two. -- Ecclesiastes 4: 9, 10.Am I a cheerful and optimistic person? -- Proverbs 15: 15If you are a critical, gloomy and negative person, marriage will not change you. Instead you are going to strain the marriage. Why not add some humor to your life by being cheerful and optimistic. Remember, such character repels, and is dangerous to your health. Do I exercise self control? -- Galatians 5: 19, 20.One who cannot control his temper is a dangerous person. He can be violent, and may even kill before realizing it. Would you like to marry and end up in jail for murder? -- Ephesians 4: 26.Questions to ask of your prospective mate.Let's say he is a male, although some of these questions may well apply to a female. What would you want of your male partner?Does he have a good reputation? -- Philippines 2: 19: 22. Yes, the way a man is viewed by others, including those under his authority will enable you to know the kind of reputation that he has. Unfortunately, most good women marry bad men. -- See 1 Samuel 25: 3, 23 --25Does he have good morals?Find out if the man you intend to marry is pretentious. Perhaps he wants to get you just to satisfy his sexual desires. Such persons think of themselves first. They do not even fear God.Does he treat me kindly? -- Ephesians 5: 28, 29.A kind husband would treat his wife in a kind manner. He trusts and praise his wife; he is not excessively jealous and is moderate in his expectations of her. Would that not be how you want your future husband to treat you?Does he respect his family members? Also find out how your prospective mate treats his parents and relatives. If he is rude to his family members, then you should expect trouble from him. But if he is respectful and obedient to his parents, then expect him to treat you lovingly after the marriage.Does he allow anger to control his life?Many families have been ruined by violence. So if your prospective mate is given to fits of anger, that is a clear indication of danger. A woman who marries such a man will be subject to verbal and physical abuse. Do you call that marriage? Does he have right goals?Find out if your future mate has attainable or visionary life goals. For example, does he want to be a millionaire? Will it do him good? Or is it his goal to serve God?So the above questions will help you to scrutinize your mate in order for you to find out if such one has the qualities that are needed to make a successful marriage. Try to look beyond the wedding day. For you are going to live with this person all the days of your life.But now, how can you have a successful courtship?(To be continued)To be continued(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, playwright, and published author. He also writes short stories, scripts, essays, and poems.For his works and FREE helps for writers, goto:http://controversialwriter.tripod.commailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.comWeb search: Arthur Zulu

Successful Dating and Marriage (1)

“In a high-divorce society, not only are more unhappy marriages likely to end in divorce, but in addition, more marriages are likely to become unhappy." -- COUNCIL ON FAMILIES IN AMERICA. .................................................When Japanese government officials conceived building an airport in Narita, little did they know that the airport will later come to be associated with divorce. Even the engineers and architects, who dreamt up the plan, forgot to dream about wed locks and goodbyes. Morpheus, the god of dreams, did not remind them.Now, the term Narita divorce, has been coined for the newlyweds who on arrival at Narita Airport after a honeymoon, immediately head to the court to file divorce papers. Bad word!Marriages have been known to hit the rocks, the night after the weeding day. Some may wait to happen after the birth of the first child, while others may choose to divorce after their golden jubilee.The story of broken marriages -- marital bliss turned marital misery, is worldwide. And this is happening despite an army of psychologists, psychiatrists, clergymen, and other counselors offering advice on marriage, including a horde of publications on the subject. People have even written best-sellers, offering advice on broken families. Ask Inyanla Vanzant, the author of the book, Yesterday I Cried.Let's get some statistics. Britain has the highest divorce rate in Europe (4 out of 10 marriages), Canada and Japan (1 out of 3 marriages), Zimbabwe (2 out of every 5 marriage) and Spain (1 out of 8 marriages.) Also in Australia, divorce rates have quadrupled since the 1980's, and in the United States and other lands, teenage mothers and children born out of wedlock, have been on the rise.In other countries, like Germany, the traditional family has totally been abandoned. In that country, single persons and individuals account for a majority of the families. And in France, people are marrying less, and divorcing more.The effect of broken families -- the oldest human institution -- is already telling on us. What with the violence that we see around us today? Family disintegration has led to the fall of great empires like Rome and Greece. May it not lead to the end of our civilization! But why are married couples increasingly getting divorce certificates or simply living as roommates, or what has been called emotional divorce? Because they started their marriages with the wrong foot. And head to the wrong people to seek advice -- marriage counselors.These series of articles will help you to get your marriage on a good start, and stay married. Because it will tell you God's view about marriage. And since God is the creator and originator of marriage, he is the best authority on this matter.In these series, you will find answers to questions that you may have asked such as: How can I find a compatible mate? What are the rules of dating? How do I know if I am ready for marriage? What happens on the wedding day? What is needed for a successful marriage? How should disagreements be settled? What is my role in the family? How can a husband get his wife's respect? Why does a wife need her husband's love? Who is the decision maker? What about the children? And many more…But first; folks, let us look out for the dangers in a marriage. Knowing these dangers, like a sailor knowing the location of the hidden rocks under the sea, will help you to find success in your courtship and marriage, sex and happiness.So, what are they? Chapter Two"It seems much easier to fall in love than to stay in love." --DR. KAREN KAYSER..................................................Would you want to marry in haste and repent at leisure? No, folk. May that not be your destiny. But you see, marriage is like a packed theater with some uninterested spectators wanting to get out, and other interested ones waiting outside, wishing to get in.If you think though that marriage can solve all of your problems, you are mistaken. Ask a married friend. But it can give you a measure of security and satisfaction if you play by the rules. But we forget the rules before we rush into matrimony. And when a sailor forgets his navigation rules, he suffers a shipwreck.You see, people enter into marriage relationships with little or no preparation. If you were entering the university for example, you will be asked to sit for a qualifying exam. You may even be asked to show other supporting qualifications like the TOEFL if you were heading for a U.S. university. But these are small things compared to the permanent relationship of marriage. Yet the only requirement in the marriage registry is your signature. Nothing else.However, there are dangers to watch out for just before you append your signature to that marriage certificate. And what are they?Failed ExpectationsPeople think of marriage as a kind of fiction story where the characters "live happily ever after." But it is never so. Because the great expectation of your Sleeping Beauty or Prince Charming may turn out to be a bad dream. The love, attention and support that you badly craved before marriage may turn out to be a tale of rejection and disillusion.IncompatibilityYou may also discover after the marriage that both of you are poles apart -- with different interests. Those characteristics which were hidden before the marriage now becomes manifest. And it becomes a story of "if I had known." (No thanks to mismatch and your beguiling mate!)ConflictYour Happy Valley or Fortunate Isles, now turns to be a battlefield of squabbling, fighting, and God forbid -- physical violence. The very sweet words, like honeycombs which were used to win your hand in marriage now become weapons of abuse and "war."Apathy It may be that you will one day find yourself saying: "I am no longer interested." And then the marriage drags on and on, like a factory worker tolerating a bad job -- to keep body and soul together. And one day, apathy turns to hate, and you find yourself telling your partner that the "game" is up!MoneyDo not deceive yourself thinking that money will make you happy. It does the opposite, says Paul Getty the American millionaire. Now suppose there is bickering over money in a joint venture? Or suppose your previously rich spouse now suffers financial misfortune? And you who were used to summer holidays in the Virgin Islands, and cruising in yachts in the Mediterranean now see poverty and hardship staring at you in the face? What will you do?ParenthoodYou may find out that the love you had for your mate now begins to drop when children start coming in. The reason may be that you no longer have time for each other, or your mate is now getting old. Is it time to sue for divorce?DeceitIt may vex you to find out that you are living with an infidel, a betrayal of trust, and not a friend and confidant. Now, suppose you find out that your mate lied to you about his or her history before the marriage? Or what if you find that your mate was cheating on you -- committing adultery? SexSuppose your partner starts depriving you of sex? Or what if sex, which was supposed for enjoyment now becomes mechanical? Some have even used sex as a bargain tool : Buy me a Swiss gold watch, and I will give you sex!Some wives have woken up after the wedding day to find out that their husbands were impotents, or eunuchs. Husbands have also been told by their wives that they would die if they had sex together. Because they have husbands who satisfy their sexual desires in the spirit world! What would you call that?SuperstitionThis may also affect your marriage depending on where you live. Barrenness, miscarriages, unseen attacks, deaths and broken marriages have been supposedly caused by wicked spirits. Does this bother you? Maybe not. But know that wicked spirits exist.In-lawsIf you allow your in-laws to intrude into your family, they may ruin your marriage. Both of you are now one, and should be able to solve your marital problems without frequenting your parents, or relations for advice.FriendsWhat kinds of associates do you and your mate have? Are they unwholesome friends? They will not help your marriage. Know that bad company can corrupt good manners.These are some of the things may shipwreck a marriage. They may not be the case with your family. But know that there is no perfect family on this earth. So there must be one kind of problem or the other in your family. Now what are required to make a marriage successful?To be continued(EXCERPTED FROM THE BOOK, “SUCCESSFUL DATING AND MARRIAGE.” THIS TEN-CHAPTER BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. INTERESTED BUYERS SHOULD CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)ARTHUR ZULU is an editor, book reviewer, playwright, and published author. He also writes short stories, scripts, essays, and poems.For his works and FREE helps for writers, goto:http://controversialwriter.tripod.commailto: controversialwriter@yahoo.comWeb search: Arthur Zulu

Cry of the Polar Bear

Here roam I with my cubs in the Arcticfeasting on seals by ice packsaway from human predators.We are content in this harsh worldwith our double furs and blubber,invisible to spying cameras.But now our safety is no more;for we awake and our beloved ice is gone.Marooned on ice packs we famish and expire,because I cannot swim with my pups.And we marvel to behold late winter and early summeras we chance upon unforeseen bodies of water.I do not pity you, man, when the seas eat your land;for did you not turn on the heatthat now melts the ice?Nor do I bewail the walruses, the reindeer, and the caribou.Methink those neighbors of mine will tarry longer.But mourn for me, the perishing polar bear;or write me a book or script me a movie.For soon I will be gone foreverlike dodo the bird or the great dinosaur.And no homo sapient dare trace the remainsof “Ursus maritimus”—the king of the north!(EXCERPTED FROM "BEAUTIFUL," A POETRY COLLECTION BY ARTHUR ZULU, TO BE PUBLISHED SOON. IF YOU ENJOYED READING THE POEM AND WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A VOLUNTARY CONTRIBUTION TOWARD ITS PUBLICATION, PLEASE CONTACT THE AUTHOR.)

A NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be at the start of a new era? It’s a thrilling feeling of achievement, and a great confidence –booster as well.As a mom of two, I’ve had to share my life between my family and my job in a school. I’ve spent long days and nights caring for the others, until, one day after years, I came upon my son’s newly purchased computer.Since then I’ve been a computer addict -(mind you, I didn’t even know how to turn it on at first!)- and I finally got started in my new online career: Book Reviewing!It had never occurred to me that I could get all that information from the web; after all, my son and daughter used it only for playing games for hours on end. But it proved to be a very useful tool to me, and to my kids in the long run.At first , everyone in the family teased me watching me try to learn all the nuts and bolts of this device. ‘It’s for the kids,’ my husband would say. ‘You will only get frustrated and tired. It’s not for you, at your age!’However, I was not discouraged! ‘What’s wrong with my age? Being in my forties is not a problem . I can still learn a lot !’ I would reply.And I was right. After a couple of months of perseverance , I started feeling confident enough to handle it , and now, my kids started asking me to explain to them a couple of tech things! Imagine that!I still can’t believe it I’ve learned so many things all on my own. Of course , I was always trying to find some spare time –and that was the hardest part of it – but in the end I followed a specific timetable that proved to be a very good idea. I had also to buy a book about the Internet , a mini guide , but the rest of the information was available online. Apart from getting educated in this field, I’ve also made some great new friends all over the world.Book reviewing was an unexpected activity I came across while reading a newsletter online. Since I’m an avid reader , I took to it at once. Now, I review print books, e-books, I maintain my own site online and I send articles to various sites all over the world. Freelancing online is a great way to reach people and places everywhere on the planet. Coming back to book reviewing, I find it great as I get a lot of free copies from authors and companies from all over the world, and I add them to my bookshelf. Reviewing other people’s books has also helped me to learn how to write my own book . I have even learnt how to make a PDF book, an electronic book . I would like to share some information with you in case you are interested in becoming a book reviewer.But you may wish to ask : Why become a reviewer?There are several reasons for that choice. First, because you love books. If you are also an avid reader, you just can’t miss this chance !Second, you love writing. This is imperative. If you don’t love writing, forget all about it.Next, you want to get free copies and add them to your shelf. By all means , go ahead.Moreover, you can have the latest releases. If this sounds exciting to you, then this activity it’s the ideal one for you.If you take to all of the above, you just can’t afford to miss the opportunity to become a reviewer. Yet, there may be another problem: you doubt your abilities to write a good review. You feel you need some guidance on how to write a critique. There is an easy solution:Read other people’s reviews. I’ve done that and it worked! So, you can do it too.I learnt all about reviewing online , all on my own. You only have to be patient and study as many different reviews as possible. Here comes another question:But where can I find reviews to read?Practically, everywhere. But if you would like to find some specific sites that display reviews online you can visit my site at http://lianametal.tripod.comand click on the Reviews section. There you will find a lot of URLs of sites that I send my work to. Click on each one of them and read the reviews. You can read my reviews, and other people’s reviews. Watch the style and the language . See what comes first and what is next. The more you read , the more you learn.If you visit my site , you will see an e books link on the home page. If you click on it, you will find another site dedicated to e books. There you will find my e book titled Writing Basics, which includes a lot of information on reviewing. To sum up, if I’ve done it, you can do it too! And it’s never too late to learn something new and exciting that will help you change your outlook on life! I am always searching the net for something new that will add some spice to my life. After all, I have nothing to lose, only to gain!What about you?If you feel like I do, start now. Don’t miss the thrill and fun of it!And Good Luck!

What Can I Do for You?

FREE HELP FOR UNPUBLISHED WRITERSIncludes editing, reviews, publication, and help to start and develop your story.EDITING / PROOF READING SERVICESAny work, any length. Sympathetic to first-time authors.GHOST WRITING For books, scripts, including custom-written school essays, term papers and projects.SCRIPT WRITINGDevelop and edit your scripts and submit to Hollywood movie stars.BOOK REVIEWSWrite a diagnostic evaluation of your work and submit to hundreds of search engines, web sites, and media outlets in any country of your choice.PROMOTE YOUR BUSINESSRun a story of your business or web site and submit to search engines and the media.GRANT AND BUSINESS PROPOSALSDo a successful proposal for your business to help you get money to finance your project.SEMINAR AND BOOK EVENT SHOWSInvite the controversial writer to speak in your seminar or book event.

The Charlotte Mason Method Increases The Effectiveness

When it comes to home schooling, parents need all of the resources they can muster. Designing curricula, scheduling field trips, and tailoring lesson plans to children in different grade levels can be challenging. Using children's literature to enrich the curriculum you teach in the home learning environment can be rewarding to both you and your children.Charlotte Mason, a British educator whose life spanned the last quarter of the nineteenth century and the first quarter of the twentieth century, fervently advocated the use of literature in children's education. Often referred to as the founder of home schooling, Mason pioneered a liberal arts approach to children's education. In contrast to the rigid memorization required of students during her time, Mason's educational theories embraced the concept of instilling a love of learning in children and exposing them to a wide variety of subjects.Today, many parents use the Charlotte Mason method as a home school resource. Several of Mason's key concepts relate to reading in the home learning environment. The first is the avoidance of what she termed "twaddle," or books that today could be called "junk food for the mind." You're probably familiar with the type, such as chapter books based on TV shows that use overly simplistic sentences and rely on illustrations, rather than words, to engage a child. Instead, the Mason method opts for children's literature that is well written and captivates the child's imagination with words.Another of Mason's key concepts that relates to reading is that of "whole books." She advocated that a child read a book in its entirety, rather than simply reading book excerpts. Any parent of a child educated in the public school system knows that language arts textbooks are typically anthologies of book excerpts. Mason felt that a work should be read as it was written, as opposed to reading only a portion of the complete book.Narration is a third concept advocated by Mason. In contrast to rote memorization and recitation, or testing that focuses on what a child doesn't know, Mason felt that children should have the opportunity to explain what they do know. After reading a book, for example, a child could talk about what he or she learned, could write about the book in a journal, or could paint or sculpt a depiction of what he or she learned.Charlotte Mason's teaching methods are easy and inexpensive to integrate into home education. Developing an effective avoiding "twaddle," by reading the whole book, and by incorporating narration as a measure of comprehension - is an integral component to the Mason method. Utilizing children's book reviews will help in this effort, as will broadening the reading experience by incorporating related individual and family activities.

Review: eBook Secrets Exposed

If you want to make a lot of money with your own eBookand you only read one book on the subject in the next12 months, I strongly recommend that it's 'eBookSecrets Exposed' by Jim Edwards and David Garfinkel.
The authors are both well qualified in this area. JimEdwards has written five best-selling eBooks(including 'The Lazy Man's Guide to Online Business' and'33 Days To Online Success').
David Garfinkel is considered by many to be theworld's greatest copyrighting coach. He's anaward-winning business journalist and is also theauthor of several best-selling eBooks, such as'Advertising Headlines That Make You Rich' and 'KillerCopy Tactics'.
There have been so many books on this subject that Ireally couldn't imagine how this book could addanything new.
But I have never before seen an eBook that explainsso clearly how to do it. I got the feeling that you couldliterally walk in Jim Edwards' footsteps and get thesame results he did (over 4,500 eBook sales in 9 months).
What makes this book very readable and enjoyable is thatit's simply a long interview - David Garfinkel asksthe questions and Jim Edwards gives the answers.
The book is packed with so many 'insider tips' that'sit's difficult to know where to begin, but one of themost valuable tips is how to find out - before youwrite your book - if there's a market for it.
You do this by following Jim Edwards' 5-Step 'UltimateeBook Success Formula'. The formula allows you to findout if there's a target audience that is alreadyactively looking for the information you're about tosell online. And if so, if they are prepared to payfor it.
One of the interesting things you'll discover in thisbook is that competition is actually good for youreBook.
If you come up with an idea for an eBook and you findthat there are no competing books, you need to getworried - it means there's probably no market for thatidea.
But if there are books competing with yours, you're onsafe ground - you know you have a market.
And don't be put off by competition: anyone who isserious about a particular subject will buy at least 4or 5 books on that topic.
Many eBook authors who make big money quickly withtheir eBooks do resale rights. Instead of making $29per sale, they're making $99 per sale. As you can see,resale rights can get you into serious money veryfast.
But there are definite pitfalls with resale rights(such as finding out a few months later that yourcherished information product has become a freeeBook). If you want to avoid these pitfalls, you needto read Section 2 carefully.
You might think that best-selling eBook authors don'tbother with affiliate programs. Wrong!
Jim Edwards shows you that one of secrets to makingmoney with your eBook is to load it up with back-endaffiliate links. But there's a right way to do this anda wrong way (more about this in Section 5).
But the real secret to how Jim Edwards made over$40,000 in one month from a single eBook is jointventures - finding people with lists of 10,000 or even100,000 and getting them to do a personalrecommendation to their readers.
On the Internet it's not products that make money,it's lists (products don't sell, lists do). Or as JimEdwards puts it: 'the power is in the pipes, in thedistribution'.
Let's say your eBook is priced at $29 and you findsomeone with a list of 10,000 and they do a mailingthat results in 3000 people turning up at yourwebsite.
And let's say that those 3000 visits result in 90 to 180sales - you and your joint venture partner are suddenlymaking thousands of dollars in a few days.
Jim Edwards shows you exactly, step-by-step, how toset up a joint venture. He even shows you the exactsame letter that he used to set up joint ventures forhis book 'How To Write and Publish Your Own eBook in alittle as 7 Days'.
One of the keys to making joint ventures work is whatJim Edwards calls 'the Santa Claus technique' (more onthat in Section 2).
A question many people have is how to price theireBook. And it's crucial that you get this right. InSection 4 Jim Edwards reveals his 'pricing formula' -a very clever way to find your eBook's 'breakpoint' orequilibrium.
There's another very valuable tip in Section 17 - 'MySecret Method For Slashing Refunds' (this tip on it'sown could be worth the price of the whole book).
This is the best book on eBook publishing I've read inthe last 18 months - in fact, while reading it, I cameup with the idea for my next eBook!
You can get your copy of 'eBook Secrets Exposed' at:http://www.freezineweb.com/ese.html